you know you are a dairy farmer if….

Here’s something to hopefully lighten the mood as the dire weather continues and the ordeal of harvest 2008 grinds on. 

I have no idea of the origins of this anonymous funny, it came from the USA courtesy of electronic media, which is so much faster than pigeon post or stage coach that at times I struggle to keep up.

 Adapted for this country it reads…

Dairy farmer definitions:



1.Your backyard ends with an electric fence.
2. The children’s drinking glasses are milk replacer cups.
3. Muck is a meal time topic.
4. You know the price of milk per litre but not by the pint.
5. The sand pit for your children is an old tractor tyre.
6. You have three pairs of Nora boots and two pairs all go to the same foot.
7. The medicine cabinet in your house contains a container of udder balm.
8. You’ve ever received an award for fat, and were proud of it. (butterfat)
9. Your idea of a power lunch is a sandwich on a tractor.
10. Your idea of carpentry includes a chainsaw and bent nails.
11. Fence repairs are second nature.
12. You can fix anything with baler twine, a piece of wire, duct tape and a pair of mole grips.
13. Your idea of neighbourhood watch is someone calling you to let you know your heifers are out.
14. The back door on your house has the key in it all the time so it doesn’t get lost.

15. Your idea of public transport is moving your cows along the road, or to a holding pen or field.
16. Most of your good headgear advertises semen or seeds.
17. You have more than a dozen cats.
18. You have more pictures of your cows than of your children.
19. Your idea of overnight delivery is calving a cow at three in the morning.
20. You can remember the name of every cow on the farm but the names of your children elude you..

Although Prosperous Farm is not a dairy farm there are cattle, sheep and pigs as well as the crops, and more sentences from the list apply than I’d like to readily admit! Today, bright with a drying wind first thing, now at 10 am ominously cloudy and grey. The day to day servicing of the machinery continues ready for the off again at a moments notice.

Hey ho, whovever said farming was easy?


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Filed under Country Life, food and farming, rural musings

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